Home » Personal Style Part I: Where to Begin?

Personal Style Part I: Where to Begin?

Matters of the Mind

The majority of us will spend most of our lives wearing the clothes that we are told are on trend or that are best for our specific body type. I’m asking you to throw this antiquated way of thinking out the closet window. 

Personal style is rooted in your connection with self. Great style doesn’t mean following all of the trends; it means you remain true to an aesthetic that is authentic to your sense of self.

Never restrict yourself to a category, box, or body type. Remain open to all styles and ways of expressing your personality. Your personal style will progress as your life does and why would you ever want to limit the evolution of either?

Self-expression can be defined as expressing one’s thoughts and feelings through words, choices, or actions. But whose words, choices, or actions are we actually expressing if we’ve never taken the time to truly know ourselves? 

Are we afraid of who we are or are we afraid we won’t be accepted if we express who we are? Friend, I was not only afraid to know myself; but, I was also terrified that I wouldn’t be accepted for who I was leaving me anything other than myself. Constantly looking for someone or something to tell me how I was supposed to look or feel caused so much unnecessary fear, doubt, and anxiety. As I began to unravel all that wasn’t me, I began to find everything that I am. I began to find beauty in all things, including myself.

When we begin the process of healing our minds we naturally become a more radiant version of who we truly are. We express ourselves with less fear, worry, guilt or shame. When we lean into the expression of who we are at our core we become less concerned with what the world thinks of us. With this self-awareness, we are able to kindly express who we are without judgment or criticism of how another person is exploring or expressing their own truth. 

Through radical self discovery, honesty, and awareness your personal style will emerge. Stick with me friend, we’re only just beginning. 

Let’s start with what may be the most crucial step in developing your personal style, matters of the mind.

A moment of self-discovery, shall we?

I find this exercise to be a great way to check-in with myself when I’m feeling out of alignment. There are many variations of it, but this is how I have found it works best for me and I share it with the intent that you become inspired to try it or find something similar that will work best for you.

Write down your answers or simply think about them; just give yourself the gift unapologetic honesty. 

Step 1: List the first 5-10 words that describe yourself. Zero judgement just pure radical honesty. Identify the first descriptives that come to mind.

Step 2: Now, look at each word and ask, where does it come from? Again, be radically honest. Does this word come from your heart describing your divine vibration or is this word something that has stuck with you that came from someone else? Often the words that are spoken to us become the language we use to describe ourselves. Establish where the words you have identified are rooted.

Step 3: With understanding the origin of association for each word, decide if the descriptive is something you would like to continue carrying or are you ready to release it? You will either lovingly choose to embrace the words or you will kindly process the hurt, heal the wounds, and choose again. As we release with kindness toward ourselves and others the wounds that once broke us, we become less tied to stories that brought the scars. In fact, the perspective of the stories might even change if you choose to tell them at all. Either way, you are left with an awareness of what these words have revealed. Only you have the free will to choose if the words you identified are going to empower you or remain to have power over you.

Some words reveal very real wounds. If you find them too triggering to work through on your own be sure to talk to someone that you feel is best qualified to help you process and heal. There are many incredible resources available to us now without ever needing to leave the comfort of our own home. Find what works best for you and work through it. You are worthy of it and you’re never alone. We are all capable of healing.

Step 4: Review the words again focusing on the descriptives you would like to continue to carry with you and create more! Think of the life you long to live and the energy you want to express then list the words you would use to describe that. Which of these words are already on your list? A few, great! None, great! Let go of all self-judgement and just write or think of all the feelings, emotions, or actions that fuel the energy you want to breathe in. Let these words lift you and give yourself permission to feel the vibration they bring. You will begin to see it when you allow yourself to begin to feel it. 

Step 5: Take action. Be mindful throughout your day. When an old thought that no longer serves you creeps in, have forgiveness for yourself, let it go, and choose again. You have a created the list you desire, return to it and choose a better thought. Eventually you will simply process what you’re feeling rather than respond to it. As you continue to look inward you may realize things about yourself that are hard to accept; however, through this knowledge comes awareness and through consistently choosing to reach for a better thought or action toward yourself or another the evolution begins. 

Sadly, as evolution should have it, at some point in life we might find ourselves grieving all the love we had left to share with another; but, what about the grief for all the love we may have withheld from ourselves. Let this not be your story. Allow yourself the grace and the space to explore you. It’s never too late to start again so stop thinking you’re too busy or there’s no time left. The version of you reading this today is not the same as it was even five years ago. Peacefully resolve within your heart’s mind where you’ve been; embrace the moment where you are, and co-create what’s ahead. 

As you unravel the parts of you that no longer serve you and continue to learn more about how your own mind works and why you feel some of things you might feel, it will feel like that world around you begins to change. Congratulations friend, you’re the one who is changing. You may find you have better self-control, more empathy for others, higher self-esteem; but most importantly, you will be more honest and connected with yourself.  

You are worthy of all that you desire. You are worth the effort. You are beloved. 

May the love you have for yourself trigger your light to shine so bright that world has no choice but to see you. And may you always be unapologetic about what no longer serves you, in your closet and in your mind.

Next week, we will tackle your closet. 

It’s all Energy. 

Published: January 31, 2023

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Kylee Jacobsen-Nadji
Kylee Jacobsen-Nadji

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